We were raised to believe (and still do believe) in the sanctity of life. In contemplating being pregnant and during the pregnancy, terminating a pregnancy was never a decision that would need a second thought. That was not an option. I had not planned to have any prenatal genetic screenings. It did not matter how our baby came out or if our baby wasn’t going to be “normal”, we were going to love it no matter what. Then those words…universally not compatible with life.
You pray. And you get everyone you know who prays to pray.
After we got home from telling Keith’s parents that Monday, I called a few more people and suffered an extremely sleepless night. The next day I could not bear hearing myself say the words again so I sent texts and e-mails explaining the situation and asking for prayer.
People here at home and people far away were praying. Some of those people we didn’t even know. If you were one of those people, I want to thank you.
The genetic counselor called several times that day to check on me and to see if I had any questions. I thought of a few, but still did not know what to ask. When she called that morning I requested that someone tell Dr. H (my Reproductive Endocrinologist) and Dr. P (my GYN/OB). She said that she would find Dr. H and tell him and that she would have Dr. S (Maternal Fetal Specialist) call Dr. P later that afternoon. Both doctors called me in the next few days. Dr. H told me that he held the highest regard for Dr. S and she is the best at what she does. Dr. P told me that she felt if I tried to carry the baby to term I would be risking my physical health, not to mention the emotional toll it would take. All they could really say was how sorry they were.
So for the next few days we held each other, we cried, we tried to understand why and we PRAYED.