“I’m so sorry.”
I’ve heard doctors and nurses speak these words to me so many times over the past several years. Only today, they weren’t being spoken to me. I heard my OB-GYN saying them through the wall to another patient as I waited for my postpartum check. Moments later, she entered the room with a big hug and “Congratulations.” I flashed back to an appointment nearly three years ago. It was the post-op appointment after our first loss. As I sat waiting quite miserably, I heard Dr. P offer congratulatory words to the patient next door. Then, moments later, she spoke those words,
“I’m so sorry,”
Everything went well with my check up. I have healed from childbirth, my blood pressure is good and I weigh less than I weighed at the beginning of the pregnancy. After Dr. P answered all of my questions, I took a minute to thank her for the excellent care she has provided over the years, but especially the care she has provided during this pregnancy. As I talked about what a blessing our sweet Samuel is, my eyes filled with tears and so did hers. Dr. P has been my doctor for a little over ten years. She has seen me through a lot, from unimaginable pain to exceeding joy and everything in between. Having this moment with her was very special.
So much happened during this pregnancy that I wanted to write about, but didn’t. Sometimes it was because I didn’t have the time. Sometimes it was because I didn’t have the energy. Many times it was because I didn’t have the courage. Now that he’s here, I’d like to go back and share some of the amazing things that have happened over the past ten months. So I’ve started here at the end, describing my final pregnancy related doctor visit. Over the next few weeks, or possibly months (I do have a newborn to take care of), I am going to show how God has used my situation to create beauty from ashes as I share my pregnancy journey with you.