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Hope H. Dover

Called to Love

Grief After Loss

16 May

I usually post something on the 18th of May, the day my Thomas Roy died. And I still might post something on Saturday, but today I have some thoughts.

All four of my children are represented on this wall in our playroom, each one of them fearfully and wonderfully made. Two of my children are waiting for me in heaven and I have the privilege of pointing the other two to Jesus so we can one day all be made new and our family be made complete for eternity.

I am pro-life AND I have had an abortion. I do not share this to make a big political or religious statement. I share this to ask that before you sit behind a screen and hit post or share to let everyone know how you feel, that you will remember there are real people on the other side of the issue, no matter where you stand. Real mamas and daddies and babies. Real grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. Real people with real feelings and very real experiences.


Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

Romans 13:8-10

I don’t think any woman includes having an abortion in her life plans, hopes or dreams. It’s not something little girls dream of as they think about their future. I do believe as a Christian I have a unique opportunity to show the love of Jesus to those who have walked this path. It is not my right to judge them, shame them, call them names or make them feel less than. (Which, by the way, I have felt all of those things over the years while scrolling through social media.) It is my responsibility to love them as Jesus loves them. And if you call yourself a follower of Christ, it’s your responsibility as well.


My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

John 15:12

Let’s do better, church. Let’s love like Jesus. Because we are not going to win souls for him by making people feel like crap because of their choices. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job anyway.


Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

So, on the seventh anniversary of the worst weeks of my life, I’d like to share my experiences as I recorded them in 2013. The emotions are just as raw seven years later.

Here is the story of my sweet Thomas Roy, the one who made me a mother.

Two Lines
The Sweetest Sound
Just a Feeling
“It’s not good.”
When Black and White Turn to Gray
Sweet Turns Sour
The 18th
Questions, Answers and Peace

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