“Our lives might feel completely out of control right now, and when it does you gotta grieve. But you also must look ahead…Grieve away. You have every right to embrace those waves of grief. But grieve in hope. Stay rooted in hope, because your little one is blooming in heaven.” (Sarah Philpott in Loved Baby)
I ran out of church Sunday in the middle of the pastor’s prayer. I managed to make it out the door and down the front steps before the tears started pouring down my face. Minutes later as my husband came out and sat down beside me, I muttered the words, “I hate November.” Those words were mostly true. I don’t hate November all of the time, but in that moment, I hated November. It is the month we should have brought our first child into the world. It is a month that still comes with much pain. In that moment the pain was too much and I needed to grieve.
Today as I read the words from Sarah Philpott in the last few pages of her book, I was comforted. Life has become a delicate dance of joy and pain, laughter and tears, since that first due date came and went without a baby five years ago. Knowing our babies are safe in the arms of Jesus waiting for our arrival on heaven’s shore is what has helped me navigate life after loss with hope. But that knowledge – that hope – does not take away the pain of living without two of my children. Due dates and loss dates are still hard. And I am finding that holidays, family vacations and even everyday moments still leave me wondering and sometimes feeling lost without them here. The image of my babies blooming in heaven helps.
Navigating loss is hard and sometimes isolating. Losing a baby during pregnancy is especially hard because it is not talked about often, even though pregnancy loss is very common. The resources available to women beginning this journey are scarce. After my first loss, I was desperate to know what I was feeling and experiencing was normal. I needed to hear from women who had walked this path ahead of me. Sarah Philpott does just that in her new book, Loved Baby.
Even five years after my first loss, this book has been a balm to my aching soul. Throughout the pages of this book, Sarah combines her own experiences with the experiences of other bereaved moms to offer hope to those walking the road of pregnancy loss. She includes truths from scripture and tips and strategies for managing the grief of losing a child in this collection of thirty-one devotions.
Loved Baby offers real talk about real issues that women grieving a child through pregnancy loss are facing. Sarah tackles the topics of asking why, having the right to mourn, depression and anxiety, hurtful words, anger and jealousy and much more. Sarah beautifully uses words to wrap the reader up in a big blanket of “me too,” which is exactly what a bereaved mother needs.
I have added Loved Baby to my short list of books to gift and recommend to newly bereaved mothers. I was fortunate to be able to donate a copy to KinderMourn and give a copy to my Ob-Gyn, Dr. P. I have one more copy to give to a bereaved mother through this blog. If you or someone you know can benefit from receiving a copy of this book, please complete this form by Friday, November 17. I will randomly choose a recipient to gift a copy of the book and ship it by Thanksgiving.
Letting a mother who has lost a baby during pregnancy know that you remember her baby is a gift like none other. If you would like to purchase a copy of Loved Baby for a bereaved mom in your life, you can purchase a copy at most major book retailers. Fashion & Compassion also has a bundle that includes the book and a beautiful “loved” bracelet. The Family Tree Candle Company is offering a “Loved Baby” candle that would make a wonderful gift to a bereaved mom. A copy of the book will be donated to a family grieving a pregnancy loss with each candle purchased.