As the evening progressed, my thoughts turned to those couples who walked out of that very same office yesterday with tears in their eyes for a different reason. Tears because they were told their baby would not live, would only live a short period of time or was not living anymore. My heart aches for them. We were them nearly 2 1/2 years ago and we are still them nearly 2 1/2 years later.
If I could talk to those couples, rather than offer empty cliches, I would tell them that this will be the most difficult trial they will ever face.
I would tell them that this has changed them, is changing them and will change them.
I would tell them that it’s not fair and it’s not their fault.
I would tell them to give themselves permission to feel everything they are feeling and will feel in the days, weeks, months and years to come.
I would tell them not to ever hide their tears. There is no one more deserving of their tears than their sweet little one.
I would tell them to be respectful of the manner in which each other grieves. It will be different at times.
I would tell them to seek professional help, whether through a support group or individual counseling or both.
I would tell them that they are not alone. Many have walked this path and many more will walk this path.
I would tell them to hold on to hope. It will take time. They can live a full life again, even though they can’t fathom that now.
I would tell them that God loves them more than they can imagine. I would encourage them to let go, fall into His arms and let Him hold them.
“‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”